Well.
A butt load has happened since I last posted. In fact, So much has happened, I don't know where to start. SO...What do we do when we can't figure out how to start writing on our blog?
(the sound of music melody comes in)
Let's start at the very beginning
A very good place to start
When you read you begin with A-B-C
When you Finally get a new job, you begin with, "Well HOLY hemorrhoids, It's About Frakkin' Time, that took forever.... Wait, I have to take a math test?? Nobody said anything about a math test...Are you serious? I hate math...I choke on tests....Oh, I failed the math test? Oh, I passed it with a 20% because they have to grade on a "We Let Retards Work Here" curve?".....
(end song)
After a 4 1/2 year drought, I finally got a job. I Love it. I work at a gigantic---Art (slash) angry old lady/Is this on sale/ I thought this was on sale/ Well your flyer says it's on sale/I gotta go clean the bathrooms now/It's ALL made in China/Owned by hardcore "we're not Mormons like people think", We're owned by some Assembly of God TEAvangelical Christian people/A Stop Stealing from us/A That's right, No security cameras anywhere, are you serious?/Yeah, I'm serious/STORE, which is right up my alley. The only trouble with me working in an art store is that I'm like a kid in a candy store looking for Wonka's golden tickets... I'm buying all kinds of Wonka bars... BUT while I'm Buying things, I'm singing like Grandpa Joe...Why am I like grandpa Joe? CUZ IIII'VVVE GOT A GOOOOLDEN TIIIICKET. I'VE GOT AN OLD MAN TWINKLE IN MY PANTS....Speaking of an old man twinkle in my pants, Marisa's pregnant. That's right. She's knocked up. Baby #2 is on the way!!
XAVI is already 8 months old. He is a wild man. A Bulldozing, Tank of a Moose. This Kid is Crawling, and Very Nearly Walking! He's a very physical, man's man. A John Wayne kinda boy. He's definitely not going to be one of those "Feminine" boys you hear so much about these days. He Does scream in a high pitched voice like a little girl, but that's only because he hasn't hit puberty. That's supposedly when a guy's ball drop or something like, I'm not sure. I never paid much attention in school when we were talking about hairy, Man balls. Anywho, back to Grandpa Joe singing.
(Old Balls Intro Music Chimes In)
I NEVER THOUGHT THAT IIII COULD BE....AAAANNYTHING BUTT, CATASTROPHEEEEEEE...something something something, LOOK AT THE SUN...
Marisa says that this topic is inappropriate and that People don't want to read blogs about old balls and stuff... Well, I Say she's WRONG. But Just to be sure, I'll keep talking about wholesome stuff.
After I started my job, I was promoted 3 times in 75 days. At first, I just cleaned toilets with toothbrushes and cleaned up little kid, school bus vomit in the store aisles. I am NOW the Frame Shop Manager, which is a very difficult job. For instance, I HAVE TO do MATH all day long, and I HAVE TO say things to my employees like "Wash Your Stinky Armpits"(although I can't talk, because I keep forgetting to put it on as well) , and "Stop Farting In The Back Room You Disgusting Person", and "Oh, So you didn't Actually get ANY work done today, well, when do you expect that you might stop being a moron"? It's pretty fun. I went from Changing XAVI'S diapers to changing my crew's diapers. ANYWAY. I'm just happy to be working again! My hands still hurt all day long, Lock up, Freeze, Stop Working, and Pretty much ache every step of the way, but I am blessed to be bringing home the bacon. The Lord's been blessing us left and right. Which when you think about it, I talk about old balls and make poop jokes and stuff, and somehow, I'm still alive and kicking. I haven't been stricken with any plagues or struck down just yet, so I figure God still has some use for me. Even Grandpa Joe can still serve a purpose.
One other thing I've noticed, is that it is VERY difficult to do much of anything (let alone write a blog) when you have a crawling/chattering/walking/screaming/hilarious baby demanding your attention. I'm cool with that-- but it still causes some problems.
(cue the Sound of Music song)
HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE MARIAAA?
HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO WRITE YOUR STUUUPID BLOGGGG.?
HOW DO YOU FIND TIME TO WATCH SOME FOOTBALLLLLLL?
A FIBBITY JIBBIT, A SLAPPITY SCAPPIT... A COW....
OH OHHH
HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE MARIIIAAAA?
HOW DO YOU FIGURE OUT IF THERE'S A MILITARY BASE ON THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOOOOOON?
WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THOSE CAMPS BY FEMA?
A FIBBITY JIBBIT, A SLAPPITY SCAPPIT... A MEOW....
OH OHHHH
HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE, MARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAA?
HOW, DO YOU HOLD AN, XBOX360 CONTROLLER, INNNNN, YOURRRR, HAAAAAANNNNNNNNNDS?
(end song)
